With huge numbers of people getting divorced and seemingly just as many couples staying in less than fulfilling relationships, can the finger of blame in any way be pointed at equality for women?
Relationship experts and coaches Tony and Nicki Vee stand fairly and squarely on the side of the argument that Equality for Women is a major contributory factor in many broken relationships. They believe that they have some solutions that can positively affect this tragedy of the modern world. They explain that many of the relationship challenges that they see are caused by a serious shift in the Balance of Power and by an unnatural desire for equality in women. They tell how they both personally paid the price for this phenomenon in previous relationships and how they fought through to live now in what many agree is ‘The Ultimate Intimate Relationship’.
So what does this equality for women in an intimate relationship look like? Tony explains, ‘Equality means that both partners share roles, they have equal responsibility, they share the work load whether that means bringing in the money or bringing up the kids, booking the holidays or outings or cleaning the house, they share decisions, they are equal, they are both in charge. Almost certainly there will be different examples in every relationship. So I hear you ask what’s the challenge? It all seems logical enough; you help each other, share everything and have a great relationship!!
OK, so here’s why that doesn’t work for many people and where it all breaks down. In reality we are not built that way, not built the same, not meant to live that kind of equal life. Men and women are very different and they have very different core needs. Part of the challenge comes from each gender viewing the others world as if it is exactly the same as our own. How many times have you heard or said, ‘If only/ All I want is for him/her to understand me’. You see the reality is that men have absolutely zero idea of what it’s like to be a woman and what she really needs and women have no idea at all what he really wants and what it’s like to be a man. We seem to expect each other to naturally understand the others inner world and needs and get extremely frustrated, even angry when they don’t. Living as equals is just a way of trying to find some middle ground and it has caused the shift that has led to so many unfulfilled relationships.
Nicki explains, for us appreciating and understanding the difference between us has been paramount to us living in a successful ‘Intimate Relationship’. We seem to have found a way of living the way nature intended us to live, both in ‘life’ and in bed and we don’t try to change each other.’
So what’s gone wrong in relationships in general? ‘We see it as a shift of energies. Humans are remarkable creatures as each person possesses both feminine and masculine energy. Quite simply most men have more masculine energy and most women have more feminine energy. There are a few exceptions.
We believe that equality has caused women to strive for success in life by over utilizing her masculine energy and sadly it worked! Women have become equal but this has had a negative effect on their intimate relationship. The challenge comes when they spend much of their time in the opposite energy to that which nature gave them. The danger is also of course that the man begins to live much more in his feminine energy. Then the relationship is doomed. What we sadly see daily is women who have learned to live life in this male power and finding that the balance between her and her man is affected and all differences have gone.
These are the very differences that create polarity, attraction and the ultimate intimate relationship.
It seems so obvious to us now, looking back at what we both experienced in our previous relationships. We notice that we ran this pattern so many times and what we are so grateful for is finding a way to reverse the habits that played such havoc in our old lives, havoc that caused us so much pain, so many tears, so much unhappiness as we endlessly searched for balance, love and acceptance.
So how can women recognise and reverse this pattern for themselves? The key thing is to become aware of how you operate, watch out for being the decision maker, having to win the argument, telling your man what to do or telling him off, being the leader, driving forward in a very focused way, being the fearless one, being competitive or challenging or worst of all taking control and being dominant. All of these traits are masculine and living your life with these qualities will destroy your chance of living life in the ‘Ultimate Intimate Relationship’. Also what do you notice about his behaviour or the behaviour of men around? Does he give into you or is he a pleaser and no longer attractive to you? You need to live in your feminine and allow him to be a man.
Of course guys you need to be in your masculine too…….. Tony and Nicki Vee are committed to sharing this and more knowledge with millions of people through their books on energy, love and intimacy; through their unique relationship seminars where they explain the fundamentals and you can identify where you are right now and create a plan for living in ‘The Ultimate Intimate Relationship’. Tony and Nicki also coach couples privately, two on two.
This Article is The Copyright of Tony & Nicki Vee and cannot be published in full or part without prior permission. For further information on this or other articles and their availability please contact: Tony or Nicki at: [email protected]
Tony and Nicky teach about living life in the red and the green. Most people won’t know what that means but let me assure you that I now live my life in the green and would recommend it to everyone!
Doug Young (London)
Get Tony & Nicki's latest horrifying report they call 'The 7 BIG Relationship Mistakes'. Many of these mistakes are being made day in and day out by men and women around the world and are costing them much pain in their intimate relationship lives. They keep singles single or in and out of relationships and couples disconnected. You can download this report by cliking the picture below...